Monologue for 2010

Book of MonologuesSecond Class Love (Adult Kevin recalles his earliest memory of love)

Every since I can remember I have felt like the other man. Always one step behind or compared to his laugh or his smile. Never once have I felt like I was the guy in first place or number one in a girl’s heart. I was the runner up or the consolation prize for her not ending up with whom she originally had in mind. It’s always an up hill battle and I’m fighting for my life while everything I do is in vein. It’s hard fighting the inevitable.I guess it all started in second grade. There was a girl named Amanda. She would never give me the time of day of course; she was head over heels for another kid in class named Brandon. Brandon was that one kid in your class with the flashy clothes, who every girl liked and wrote "do you like me check yes or no" notes to, and I was the chubby kid who loved cheetoes with shoes that looked like they could hold their own conversation.The day of valentines came up and I made my move. I made Amanda a special Valentine’s day snack pack along with a few of my signature cheetoes for her to think of me while she enjoyed them. As you would expect she took one look at the cheesy treats and tossed them in with the rest of her unimportant things along with the card attached with the most heart felt poem I ever wrote, a poem that rhymed cheetoe with libido. The only thing she paid any attention to was the sour apple blow pop from Brandon which happened to be her favorite flavors, who know. From that day on they were a couple, a hard lesson to lean at that age.My pain was later dulled a bit on the last day of school. Amanda was still happy with Brandon of course, but there was another girl. She was nowhere a looker as Amanda, but she was a girl. She announced to the entire class that I was her boyfriend because I was the only one who could un-jammed her 3 ring binder that day. I was happy that someone liked me. Even though she too liked Brandon a lot more, she settled for a guy who was crafty with his hands, that she would never see again; thus beginning the pattern of my relationships.

My life's inspiration (Adult Joe job interview)

When I close my eyes and think of my life's inspiration this is what I hear. Go go power ranger!!! You mighty morphing power ranger!!!! Man when I was a kid I loved the power rangers! NO! I lived the power rangers! It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen in my life. From the spadex costumes to the cheesy special effects, I mean it was awesome. And I learend so many things. Like how to protect myself from crazy grey men who speak gibberish, and that girls look the same as boys when they transform and use super ninja powers.

( pause)

You want to know who my favorite power ranger was...Zack Taylor the black ranger. Why you ask? Because he had a sense of style. I mean the guy danced and he fought at the same time...Hello! How amazing is that? You try kicking some out of space butt while doing the MC Hammer, it ain't no easy task believe me I tried.

(pause)

I tried a lot of the things Zack did. I practiced his moves how he talked even the ways he dressed. He wore the most amazing multi-colored vests... no under shirt just vest! They were so amazing that I begged my mother for three weeks for one. When I finally got it I had to wear it to school the next day to show everyone how cool I was with my multi-colored vest...Not the smartest choice I ever made. The no under shirt part I mean. That was the day that I learned what deodorant was for and why we use it. It was horrible. They called me musty man. Whatever they couldn't understand they wouldn't...get it. I wear that name proudly because if it wasn't for the power rangers, Zack, or that vest I wouldn't be the person I am today. They are my life's inspiration sir.